Most of you know Noah as my baby that loves to eat but there is so much more to him than that.
I dreamed of having another little girl, so much that I had already named her. Noa Giselle Ransom, I picked this name because the name Noah means Rest and Noah was also so obedient that he was considered a friend of God. She would be our caboose and I would be done.
You already know how this story ends because Noah is definitely a boy. I didn’t tell many people but my real reason for wanting a girl was that the chance of having autism was less likely in African American sibling girls that sibling boys. We had just started our journey with Mason and I was terrified of what that could mean for our new baby. We had a gender reveal for Noah and although I tried to prepare myself for a boy I cried uncontrollably when I saw blue. My fears were now growing roots.
I can be an anxious person which causes me to excessively plan things, to try prepare for all scenarios. In the spiritual realm this means that I don’t have faith in God but faith in myself and my abilities. I’m better but still a work in progress. This was something that I couldn’t plan for and therefore I spent the majority of my pregnancy in fear of what the future held for my family.
I tried to change Noah’s name but nothing seemed right, rest and obedience were still very meaningful (and gender neutral) to me. In the end we named him Noah Avery Ransom.
Now Noah is the exact opposite of rest.
Mason has a high level of self-preservation skills, he wasn’t going to do anything that he wasn’t sure of (kinda like his mama). He was usually not interested in outside stimulus and would be in the same spot that you left him in. He was such an easy baby and I could take him any and everywhere with me. We never had child locks or baby gates or any other baby type proofing with Mason because we didn’t need it.
Noah is the exact opposite, he is fearless.
I need another set of eyes and another set of arms to manage him and my other responsibilities at the the same time. He has completely changed the way I parent. I go before him and make sure nothing than can harm him is in his way. I set up blocks to keep him out of areas that he doesn’t need to be in. Even after all of this I am constantly anticipating all the ways that he could hurt himself. I have caught him mid-air from falling off a chair or the steps more times than I can count. I recently stopped him from going head first into the bathtub, although he cries about it I know that it will cause more harm that fun.
I try not to use negative language about my children, Noah isn’t bad he just doesn’t have much fear. In prayer I was talking about how hard this is to manage and my spirit responded with “this is what God expects of all of his children.”
The bible talks extensively about not being afraid. It’s one of God’s most consistent commands ‘Do Not Be Afraid”. God loves when we live without fear while also living in expectation.
Noah has no fear of climbing because he knows someone is there to catch him. He is adventurous and never afraid to walk into an unknown place because he knows that someone is always watching over him, never allowing anything bad to happen to him. The proof of his trust is in his actions. His actions give me no choice but move.
Let me say that again “HIS ACTIONS GIVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE”
Fearless Action gives God purpose in your life, it gives him the opportunity to show you first how powerful he is and second how loved and cared for you are.
Caution is necessary, fear is not. I’m thankful that my sweet boy was sent to me as a constant reminder to not live in fear.
Today I tell you to walk into your life fearless and expecting your Father in heaven to do exceedingly above what you could ever imagine.
Bible Reference: James 2:14-26 Faith in Action.