Dear Son…

January 9th seemed like another day in my pregnant life. I woke up and ate a bowl of cereal, my favorite food at the . The heartburn the night before had been especially terrible and I was really at the point of staging a sit in at the hospital until they decided to take this baby.

I ended up calling my doctor because I passed what I thought was my mucous plug but it didn’t really look like a mucous plug. She asked me to come on in since I had an appt scheduled that week any way. She checked my cervix and gave me the oh sh!t face. Of course I assume it was my mucous plug and that must mean that labor is close or I’m more dilated that I was the week before. I never imagined that she was about to say what she did…

“Sabrina, this baby has turned breeched and we are going to have to do a c-section”. A cesarean section was so far off my mind that it took a couple of times of her explaining what was going on for me to get it. Mason had been in perfect position for the past 12 weeks but here at the end he decided that he was over it. A rebel in the making. There were a few options but all of them would lead down a very painful road that could end in c-section anyway. She explained a procedure that could turn the baby back to the right position but it came with a lot of risks because I was past 39 weeks. As she was explaining this I remember Kim Kardashian saying her baby had to be turned and that it was more painful than childbirth… So I asked:

Me: “Is it really painful?”

Dr:……

Yeah it was a no for me…

We scheduled the c-section for later that day because I had just eaten and I also needed to go home and wrap my head around what was about to happen. I had been ready but now all of a sudden I was nowhere near ready.

At 6:20pm Mason Lee Ransom was born 9lbs and 3oz. He was absolutely beautiful and I’m not just saying that because I’m his mama.

The minute he was born my heart overflowed with joy. I worried that I wouldn’t have room for him because Kristian had been my whole world for 12 years. But your heart does this amazing multiplying thing that I could never explain.

I cried because God trusted me to raise a little black boy. A boy that the world will never love as much as I will. During my ultrasounds they told me he would be tall and my first thought was about someone being afraid of him because of it. I know that as his parents its our responsibility to teach him the balance he’ll need to survive in this world.

Its been such a journey getting to this point but I know that its nowhere near over and I can’t wait to see where he takes us.

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xoxoxo